i didn't wish to quit, but the books are all saying how stupid humans, like labrats of this society, are dying every second because of this. i am a plain lab rat, a guinea pig for business tycoons. although death is sure, we are continually hired, without pay, only with a promise of complete destruction.

i'm not accountable for anyone, just myself. i am weak to be lying like this. stuck in a bed that stinks of misery. i was about to shout for help, but someone pulled the plug. i am stopped in the most peculiar position, all muscles strained, with no force to adjust and move.

nothing seems easy, just like drama series tells us. oh and i am such a fan. fan of depression and stress. my life and love reflects this. being bothered, energy source unplugged. crying indifferently everytime i remember. i have my life to run, dirt to clean, be part of a process i breathe since i was born. it never helps to get stuck in shit. i only have myself to pick me up.

i should be dancing, like my life depended on it. but you know me this much, i'll be whispering another sorry soon. for i cannot move my feet, as if it's not mine. and soon i'll be far, too far to fit in the horizon your telescope can reach. or maybe you won't notice me for i will be reduced to a concept, without a body. i'll be a concept of your good pal, floating into a parallel universe in a reeking lonely air. if i'd cross your mind, i'm not sure, i shouldn't be worrying about that, i know you won't. 

because maybe there i can dance, without a body. without physics i can pick up the plug and run again for tomorrow. it will be difficult to accept but i'll get there, whether far or soon. i'll be tough for whatever it's worth, i lost more than i should have. no use in crying over spilt milk, those songs, and the lady. a moment she was there, telling me to smile, then she's gone. it will echo in my head over an over again, until i do.